16th of December

ha........ it's 16th of december.... and it's her birthday... today it reminds me of alot... really alot about the relationship.. i still remember how i get her birthday. when we were just plain dating, not together yet, we did go out and watch movie as usual like normal people... we were in the cinema. yes i do know that her birthday was in december as she told me before. but never tell me the date.. so, it actually happen suddenly in the cinema she pointed at the seat number... 16... and tells me that it's her birthday. there... the 16th of december is the day that i really want to remember for life.

i've been looking at those videos we took last time, the birthday, the taiwan trip, the bangkok trip, not alot on the video side, but just some video clips that i took on my camera.... really make me miss the feeling so much.... the love between me and her is so pure....those few words that's recorded in those videos are " your turn to feed the fish", "he drag me here, i'm tired, i'm hungry and i want to sleep", "bu bu bu bu bu bu bu your snore", "happy birthday to you...." especially the birthday one.. last year i celebrated with her at Audees Penang, great food, not too bad tiramisu as birthday cake, with a candle and someone singing happy birthday .... what a good memory...

today i finally met up with her after almost a month of struggling. finally get to see her smile instead of her always busy on the phone. but yet can't spend much time as she's going out. passed her the birthday present and talked for awhile. trying not to make her birthday miserable about her decision on the relationship...

the highlight of the time with her today is hugs.....yes definitely not as close hug as last time.. but yet, just a simple one handed hug.... makes me tear up.... make me think back alot. but yet... the feeling is very good... feels like all my worries, sadness, trauma, sickness got unloaded.... the power of love is really really strong beyond imagine.

i really hoping that someday, i can meet her again.... or should i just make it i wished to have her around me again in future... hopefully during these times.... both growed.. hope that she understands me more... appreciate the things i do more...... sacrifice for each other....

i really don't know how long i'm going to be like this... blogging about how much i miss her, what we did last time.... like close frens said to me.... time will heal the wound.... this is really one deep cut wound....already a month, and it's not getting any better....still miss her...still dreaming about her smile... her voice...