Thursday, July 24, 2008

back to oneself

so.. i guess that's the sweet dream.. there isn't anything left. for those who wondered what i'm saying.... it means... i'm back to my ownself.

myself that's always alone, always free, and always up for any plans that's within my physical range of reach. just sometimes kinda lonely... need someone to accompany me... but then at the moment, there isn't any specific person.. just friends that sit along drink some tea... some beer...some coke... some juice... that'll do fine.

indeed previous few post... as u can see.. it's a good dream... it is a good dream.. i haven't been feeling like that for a long time... not to mention got scolded by someone isn't that close...and ended up debating here and there... with someone not that close also.. it's really a wake up call for me... it's good to have such feeling after a really long long time...

so.... i'm back... :) back to give you all some good stories... some good dreams... less complain about me being lonely... i hope la.. ahahahha

she... just another 擦肩而过

Sunday, July 20, 2008

sundays.....

Sundays are bored like one kind. yeah i get to sleep till the sun shine on my ass in the noon. that's only when i got too tired over saturday night or too much drinks =)... normally i'll just wake up by 9 AM.... and i have a plain more than 16 hours of nothing to do...

i was reflecting what i did on saturday night... not bad at all... had 2 dinner in one night... 2nd dinner with beer... good stuff to hang out with even just one friend. bitch it out all the unhappiness.... you haven't seen guys bitch before leh ? ekkekeke then follow up with 2nd round of alcohol night at a fren's place till late night...

in between... yeah finally i had a interactive call with her... very interactive... it was since the midsummer night feast...just feeling so cold.. anyway it was a little bit of this and that in the content.. but yet i find it kinda enjoyable debating, partially hearing her raise her voice over the phone... haven't been hearing things like that for a long long time....

she had been complaining that i'm too free. for those who know me, know my job, they know me well that i'm very free. so free that sometimes it lets people feel annoyed that how come there are such people that free.... that's on my non office hours i'm that free and plus i have flexibility on my working hours as well..

how do i treat my friend? some will know, i treat some frens like crap.. bcoz i tend to forget about them... that's a bad habit... now that i'm single... i treat every female as good as it gets... don't mind spending a few bucks on meals... making it a good experience... have some chats or hang out to fill up my emptiness and loneliness... what is a movie date? just another excuse to catch up for a movie instead of going to watch it alone. flowers ? that's debatable... maybe that's some extra there... the base line is that... whatever i do... is just filling up my emptiness loneliness by spending time and effort with anyone... making myself feel happy and good by making them feel that i do exist as someone that will or try to make their day good. i get happiness by doing that...if someone appreciates all these.. let's move along and see what's infront for us...

yeap the sweet dream is over.. but it was an entertaining dream... it was a good dream... a dream so good to be memorable... and me and her face SHOULD will be featured in THE PEAK and also MALAYSIA TATTLER magazine that's according to the editor that i contacted....no idea where to grab it... but if you interested to see... find your way to get a copy of those mags... for next month's issue.

Friday, July 18, 2008

not a good night.

last night... i just got a feeling that things aren't going right... maybe i'm thinking too much... but things just got kinda abnormal..

and i'm doing it again.. bringing drinks... but unfortunately, not successfully delivered due to unavailability.

and mahjong last night... it was exceptionally abnormal tiles... just don't know why..

and at night... difficulty sleeping .... ever since my brain is being clogged by my emo.... i haven't been having deep sleep. morning wake up the brain feels drunk.. even i didn't had a bit of alcohol....

just no idea what is this abnormal feeling... something is not right....i don't know what's not right.... i wished i know.. i wished that my life will be better.... not so miserable....

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

李圣杰- 擦肩而过


我爱着谁 爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁 能够把我让我变不对
你不会累 但我却爱你爱到好累
从没有为了谁 不顾安危付出一切
站在这平衡点 我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见 只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人 也不会是个好情人
你对我说 我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多 少了他的日子也能活
我不会再让你寂寞 也不会让你更难过
你听我说 要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错 至少还有我的问候 我的温柔陪你度过
你听我说 你不要这么做
你不要看着我 说你已经知道怎么做
你很难受 我愿意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛 再多坎坷我都陪你走
站在这平衡点 我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见 只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人 也不会是个好情人
你对我说 我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多 少了他的日子也能活
我不会再让你寂寞 也不会让你更难过
你听我说 要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错 至少还有我的问候 我的温柔陪你度过
他不会是个好男人 也不会是个好情人
你对我说 我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多 少了他的日子也能活
我不会再让你寂寞 也不会让你更难过
你听我说 要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错 至少还有我的问候 我的温柔陪你度过

what sign i should date ?

recently i took the test.... i'm an aquarius and my result as below.

You should date a Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn. If you're looking for a hard-working, dependable, and loyal lover, then look no further than an Earth sign! Don't mistake this introvert as someone who isn't social because they have quite the charm.

seriously quite true....that's someone that i might be looking for.... someone not too crazy in life, someone smart, someone loyal...there are certain degree of sociable as well as i do :)

just babble.....

Monday, July 14, 2008

my daily life

today i was thinking what do i do daily?....
Monday.... work then gym... then get tired and rest at night
Tuesday.... work then bowling... then get tired and rest at night again sometimes replace the bowling with some business social activity with the beers...
wednesday.... work then gym... then get tired and rest at night...
thursday... work then rest.. then take a dry swim aka stacking tiles with my diving buddies... then get real tired and rest at night....
friday... work.. then yoga session..... then at times.... JSOC meet up.. and get crazy till late night....
saturday.... start work late.... finish around 6...

and that's the time when the most difficult part of the week comes.... i don't have anything fixed on saturday and sundays..... basically at a certain point of time.... i don't like weekends.... because i don't have any partner to spend time with, i don't know where to go, i don't know what to do.

my weekends... take out some books to read... less than 2 hour... got bored... and head to play piano for awhile.... and got bored in less than 1 hour.... and watched TV... and go back to sleep... then wake up.... at times... go super market and buy some ingredients to try out.... mess up the kitchen....

saturdays and sundays are really not a good day for me.. when people tell me have a good weekend.... i was wishing if my weekends i can spend time with someone....get to understand someone... more...it's tough to get back into the sort of life...

it's been awhile

it's been awhile since i last got feelings towards someone. and the effect is.... messy.... behaving wierd, or something don't know what to do.

argh... i tot i was strong in every term of life... but then when it comes to these... weak beyond words....

somesay... i shall just go with the flow... and don't expect too much.... so that i don't get disappointed.... i think it's correct....i should be having that kind of mindset....

Sunday, July 13, 2008

a sweet dream had ended

11th of July 2008, a midsummer night feast opening gala at starhill, that's the sweet dream that i've been talking about. why is it a sweet dream? it's just a publicity event.

the highlight of the night wasn't just the food, it was the combination of perfect date, perfect food, perfect performance. the event was so formal that there are so many press were taking photos here and there. my date the night, she is the most beautiful girl that i've ever seen. we actually draws quite some attention for photographers, me and my date coincidently wore all white. .we were the only couple that wear all white, the rest are dark color, black color etc.

the night went on really well. good chat, good food, good music.... i should stress out that the company of her is seriously nothing can be match.

why do i call it a sweet dream? just imagine you have the most beautiful girl you've ever known to be your date for the night, and both wear some matching clothes to the event. but my guts tells me already she's taken. but by accepting my invitation i'm filtering alot of facts. thus it's like a dream..you set your own scenario.

luckly the night went out smoothly, as an addition she got a dozen of rose from me. everything was SO PERFECT for the night. but then.... a sweet dream eventually ended. although i would like an extension... but sometimes those guys up there are pretty fair to everyone... not one gets extra...

i already had an extra for dreaming on the night itself while i'm trying to sleep. i had a dream about her. pieces of good moments as i'm going after her. and at the end of the dream, i melted her heart with sincerity and care. and that's the extra dream that i got. this is seriously the best back to back sweet dream ever happen to me in my life. guess it might be time to get back to my ownself. we'll see how it goes.... some how i need some luck as well...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

my sweet dream

i think i'm currently living in a sweet dream....why do i say i'm in my own sweet dream ? because normally at night.. when you got a dream at night, normally you can't control your dream. it'll flow accordingly.

but in one of my post i mentioned the dream life.... living in a dream life, you pre-set your own conditions, your own situation. at the moment, i'm in a dream. that's for following my heart doing things that are unexplainable like waiting for someone in the middle of the night.

i will continue to live in this sweet dream, regardless what's the realistic situation out there. while i'm waiting for that someone, i don't really care if the condition is in favor of me or not. like i said this might be a dream for me, i shall take it as a dream. i set my the situation, and i walk in my dreams.... maybe someday i will wake up.... knowing that it's just a dream that's the time where the reality is overpowering my pre-set situation. and i shall wake up... and it will be a great dream to remember. maybe a short one as well.

if my pre-set situation continues without the reality over powering, or let's say the reality has nothing to interfere my sweet dream, i shall continue to dream. never know one day, the dream became a reality and i don't need to dream anymore. and by that time, my dream is my life and it's the reality that i'm a happy man once again.

a sweet dream hasn't ended yet.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

am i stupid ? or i'm a rare breed of a kind...

somehow i believe i'm a kind of person that's stupid... as in... not to say that i'm not intelligent or i'm not smart..... how smart am i... definitely IQ higher than typical people bwahahhaha

but now how i believe my innerself is quite deep. i can't express alot at times... tend to keep to myself, thus i started blogging... throwing out my thoughts... it felt a little better....

i say i'm funny as in... when i do something... there isn't much reasoning behind.. i realised it now... yeah u treat a gf nice... that's normal.. and that's infact a must... then why get a gf if you don't treat them well.... but somehow... even someone is not my gf, i tend to be happy when i get to treat them well.... i kinda get a good satisfaction feeling when i care for someone..... i get satisfied mentally when i get to accompany someone go through hard times.... i can stay up all night long to accompany someone work.... hypothetically staying up to accompany someone that has a long night to go through.

especially my best female fren always tells me... whoever that got attached with me...she's seriously lucky... probably my fate hasn't arrive yet.... still wondering somewhere outside.... some day.... some day..... i will have my happiness back again....but somehow... never try never know....i shall follow my heart..... although my heart always lead me to do something stupid that's in-explainable... only wished that my heart will show me the route that i have to walk.... things happen for a reason... if the heart wants me to get disappointed again... no choice... be it...
i'll continue to follow my heart in search of my happiness...

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

dreams.....

dream is a very important thing for a person.... a dream is not actually something that comes at night... they have day dreaming.... night dreaming.... and they have a vision dreaming....

dream is not actually something that it won't happen... it's something that hint you about a thing in life that's going to happen... there exist a dream decipher that tells what those those dream is about....

i have a dream... it's not something that comes at night..... it's not something that show up in my mind without myself noticing it... my dream is something i wanted my life to happen.... my dream is related to my life..... i dream of a someone that will be a very good company to me... as that someone is really worth me sacrificing for.... someone that won't stop their man as he go searches his destiny... that is what a true love is .....