after about almost 4 months not contacting her..... finally we talked again... through out those months, i thought that i already put her aside... never wanted to look back... it was a good memory.... it was a good relationship as well but unfortunately.... fate ends it...
when i talked to her again, i don't feel anything, just a tiny bit of nostalgic feeling like old times.... but the problem arise when i started to talk to her.... i have dreams about her... night time dreams.... few days straight down....probably deep in my mind misses her quite alot that i don't realise....
then it's this meal that we suppose to eat.... i don't know why, probably i don't really able to match up with those that's too spontaneous. how do i make it ?..... let's say... when someone got effort to make it a good dinner, trying to make up plans.... but then the other side says we'll see after this meet up that meet up.... and just minutes before the meet up, she came tell u, she's eating with others.... is that call no effort to make it ? i guess it would...or make it this way.. it's in the blood....
but i shouldn't be bothered about it.... if a normal friend, i would have asked them way early if can make it or not... if can't come out.. at least i would have know way early so that i make my other plans.. if even last minute saying not feeling well etc.... i'll just be cool.... why do i still have so much effort on her ? am i still missing her ? or i'm still not moved on yet ?
it's crap to be myself.... empty, not moved on, lonely...hopefully whatever she said to me before it's true that things happen for a reason.. it might be an excuse for her to try something else.. but not for me... not seeing anyone.. trying to reboot my life... hopefully it is really someone else that really came into my life that changes me .... make me happy.... make me believe again....
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